


True Identity

by 50ShadesofPitchPerfect



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, First Time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50ShadesofPitchPerfect/pseuds/50ShadesofPitchPerfect
Summary: Head over heart, mind over matter. Whoever said making a choice was easy when matters of the heart were concerned was wrong. Painfully wrong. Beca Mitchell internally battles with her own sexuality when an unexpected kiss develops into a whole new experience, causing her to cast doubts in her safe relationship with Jesse.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So Here's a little something to start off 2017. Great big thanks to my beta waatp, you are a Godsend! Bechloe. This is also uploaded on fanfiction.net under 50 Shades of Pitch Perfect.  
> Give it a read and let me know what you guys think. :)

Beca Mitchell sat on her bed, her back propped up by pillows and her feet crossed at the ankles. She was drawing a lazy circle on the soft blankets with her hand, trying to distract herself from the single, constant thought currently running around in her mind.

The phone on her nightstand buzzed, announcing a new text with its stupidly cheerful tune. Groaning, she moved for the first time in an hour and swung her legs over the side of the bed, planting both feet firmly on the floor as she scooped up her cell. Quickly reading the message, she was almost relieved to see it was from Amy, asking her if she was still acting like Miss Haversham. Beca sighed. Since splitting up from Jesse, three months before, she'd become a bit of a hermit, only leaving her apartment to go to work and the grocery store. It was the way she wanted to be. It meant she could concentrate on her work.

Or that was what she continuously told herself.

She missed Jesse. She missed him a lot. But it had been her decision in the end to finish their relationship. She still loved him and the easy way the relationship had developed over the three years they were together. He'd proposed to her over a moonlight picnic one evening in the summer, saying all the right words and promising all the right things. He looked so hopeful as he waited for her answer; the one that would unify their lives and pave their road together.

He didn't expect for her to bury her face in her hands and burst into tears. He had started to stutter and apologize that the ring was small but he'd get her something bigger if that's what the reason she was so upset. But the trouble was, as she tried to explain to him without hurting his feelings, that she didn't know what she wanted. Reassuring him that it was her, not him, they'd parted that night without ever really resolving anything except Beca's steadfast conviction that they couldn't be together any longer.

She'd spent the next day in bed, with the covers pulled up over her head, ignoring her phone and the knocks on her door as word got around that the Power Couple of Barden University were no longer together. Jesse kept their break up respectful and spoke no ill of his former girlfriend and as yet, still hadn't pushed Beca for a real reason to their breakup.

Beca was dreading that day. How could she tell him the truth? She was in denial about the whole thing and yet every time she thought about it, she got a flicker of excitement deep down in her gut. She was so conflicted, alternating between hating herself one minute, forgiving herself the next and then getting all confused about the truth.

The truth was that she had fallen for her best friend. Chloe.

She'd laid awake at night for the longest time, thinking how it had all started. She tried to understand within herself if she'd been hiding her own feelings for a long time or was this rush a new thing.

'I’m not gay.' Beca softly repeated to the room, the phrase in her head on a constant loop. 'I still like men.'

She was a little angry at Chloe as her mind drifted back to the World’s Championship in the summer. Was she truly so overcome with emotion that the Bella's had won the crowd over, defeating Das Sound Machine, who, until the Bella's had stepped onto the stage had been the favorites to win, that she didn't realise what she was doing at the after party when Chloe had gone around hugging and congratulating everyone. 

This was nothing new as far as Chloe was concerned but she'd stopped in front of Beca and comically leant down to kiss the top of Beca's head. Beca had playfully slapped her away as Chloe pulled her into another bear hug but as Chloe moved to kiss Beca's cheek, a gesture of friendship, Beca had turned her head a split second too early and their lips had met.

Neither of them had pulled away until a peal of laughter brought them back into the room. Shocked, Beca had pulled away and half pushed Chloe back into the room, laughing mirthlessly and pretending it had all been a silly gesture. But Beca couldn't deny that Chloe spent the rest of the evening giving Beca subtle, knowing glances and little winks that for once, Beca didn't find uncomfortable.

As they left the after party that night, Beca and Chloe had found themselves lingering behind, collecting Amy's discarded bra and shirt before walking out together. Beca knew she hadn’t mistaken the gentle touch of Chloe’s fingers as they brushed against hers and she was definitely sure she felt a spark between but she couldn’t fathom what it meant. She was happy with Jesse and wasn’t looking for anything else, and she certainly wasn’t a cheater so why did the ghost of a kiss play on her mind so much.

As they drew closer to the bus, waiting idly on the side of the road to return the Bella’s to their hotel, giggling as they watched Amy try to make out with a traffic cone, Chloe had half pushed, half dragged Beca into a covered doorway.

Without saying a word, Chloe had slipped a finger under Beca’s chin and tilted her face up towards her. Not waiting for permission, she pressed her lips to Beca’s mouth and kissed her with purpose. It took the brunette two seconds to begin kissing her back.

Beca found herself lost in the moment as the world around her began to fade away. The gentle hum of the traffic disappeared, the harsh street lights dimmed and her too warm skin felt the first prickle of anticipation as the world simply slowed down. Without meaning to, Beca slipped her hand up Chloe's back and wrapped her arm around her, pulling her closer. A momentary pause as Beca felt the difference between Chloe's soft skin and the usual stubbled chin she was used to and the feeling confused her but the tiny fire in her belly soon made her forget what she was thinking.

For a brief moment, Beca worried that her brain had short circuited as images of rainbows, warm cookies, unicorns and fluffy socks flashed through her mind. She blamed it on the fact she was kissing Chloe rather than an elementary brain fart but still, it was certainly odd. She wasn’t going to suddenly like all of that stuff, just because Chloe did.

They pulled apart and a thin sliver hung between them like a spiderweb.

"Don't overthink it." Chloe breathed as she kissed the top of Beca's forehead. 

"I'm not. I'm-"

"-Just imagine what it's like with tongues." Chloe giggled, before shaking herself a little and poking her head out of the doorway where she'd pushed Beca into. She looked back at Beca. "I've wanted to do that for so long." She said with a mischievous smile.

She let the words hang in the air as she bounced, instead of walked to the waiting bus, leaving Beca with a million unanswered questions about what had just happened and an ache in her core that didn't disappear for three weeks.

And now, as Beca sat on the edge of her bed, she was left with the memory of a passionate embrace and a question in her head about what she was going to do about it.

..**..

Chloe Beale had always been honest about her sexuality. She just didn’t feel like it needed to be broadcasted; if someone wanted to know something, she would talk to them about it. In an honest and frank admission, and perhaps more than one watered down beer, Chloe admitted to the rest of the Bellas that she liked girls as much as she did guys. A few nodded heads, a couple of shrugged shoulders and at least one ‘yeah, we knew that’ later, and the conversation moved onto the next person. 

Beca thought on Chloe's words for a little while, watching her as the group interacted with each other as Amy admitting she stole people's underwear for a laugh and wondered how she'd not known that about Chloe. They had become close friends in Beca’s freshman year; partially due to Chloe shower stalking her in the first semester and partially Beca liking Chloe's persistence and perseverance in demanding Beca's friendship. 

She had found it was just easier to give in and be dragged out for coffee at the small campus cafe than argue with her redheaded friend. Beca's shower invasion story was used by Chloe on more than one occasion to get a date for the two of them on a night out. But it wasn't until Beca looked back on their nights out that more often than not, Chloe would end up at Beca's place, snuggled under her friend's duvet and half asleep by the time Beca had finished using the restroom. Beca found out all too quickly that she simply didn't care that Chloe couldn't make her mind up whether she liked boys or girls. It was part of her charm.

Chloe had always been confident in herself, she’d come from a loving family where it was considered bad form to be normal in the eyes of society. She had a chicken as a pet, wore odd socks, slept with a plastic dinosaur called John and wore fairy wings to Church so when she sat down with her parents, one week after Christmas and announced she was seeing a girl called Jenny, neither of them batted an eyelid. In fact, the only comment her father passed was to remind her it was her turn to wash up after dinner. Three weeks later, when Chloe brought Matt home, introducing him as her boyfriend, one solitary eyebrow was raised and then the conversation was moved on to which football game was going to be shown over Thanksgiving.

Chloe had that nature where she did what she liked, loved who she wanted to and lived her life to the very best she could. And if that meant taking a risk, so be it. Chloe had standards, her own set of rules and that didn’t include judging people, telling lies, chewing gum too loudly and it certainly didn’t include stealing someone’s boyfriend, or girlfriend.

Even with an offer of a million dollars on the table in exchange for the truth, Chloe couldn’t have answered the question of why she decided to kiss Beca Mitchell in Copenhagen, even if her life depended on it.

What she did know was that she didn’t regret it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Head over heart, mind over matter. Whoever said making a choice was easy when matters of the heart were concerned was wrong. Painfully wrong. Beca Mitchell internally battles with her own sexuality when an unexpected kiss develops into a whole new experience, causing her to cast doubts in her safe relationship with Jesse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Thanks for the reads and reviews. A big thanks to my beta waatp! You're awesome!!  
> Here's the second chapter. Enjoy :)

Beca knew lounging in bed was going to get her nowhere fast. She was bored of thinking, pondering, wondering, calculating and questioning everything she had done.

‘It happened.’ She thought to herself. ‘I can’t undo what’s done now.’

She found herself missing Jesse more than ever. In the past few years, she’d found herself finally opening up to someone, sharing her thoughts instead of bottling everything up. Jesse was patient and kind, always by her side and willing to drop everything if Beca needed him to. It took her a while to get used to the adoration from him but when she began to accept him into her heart, it became very comfortable, very quickly. 

Usually, she’d have turned to Jesse when her head was this muddled but knowing what she had just put him through, she knew she simply couldn’t do that. It wasn't his job anymore and that had been her fault. Jesse had been good enough to reassure her that he wasn’t completely broken over their break up, although the small telltale twitch by his left eye confirmed Beca’s initial thoughts that he was lying. She regretted the decision to end their relationship half the time, and the other half was spent reassuring herself that she’d been cruel to be kind in the long run.

‘Does kissing Chloe count as cheating? I can’t be Jesse’s wife when my last few weeks thoughts have been about Chloe. It felt too right to be wrong. Damn that girl! Why did she have to do that to me? But then, I could have pushed her away. I didn’t. Is it my fault?’ She thought as she got out of bed, half-heartedly pulling the blankets back over her bed in an attempt to make it. She shrugged her shoulders at the crumbled mess and decided a shower would be a good idea instead. 

Returning to her room twenty minutes later, squeaky clean and wrapped in a stupidly large towel, Beca couldn’t decide if she was shocked or not to find Amy sitting on her bed, rummaging around in her friends underwear drawer.

"Can I help you Amy?"

"Nope." Amy said, not even stopping what she was doing. "I’m good."

 

"Mind telling me what you think you are doing?"

"Wondering if these itty bitty thongs are actually worth the effort of wearing them." Amy said, holding up a pair of Beca’s panties.

Beca huffed and used the corner of the towel she was wearing to get some water out of her ear before she carried on. "And the real reason you are here?"

"Came to check up on ya. Haven’t seen you for a coupla weeks." Amy said, looking at her friend for the first time. "Jeepers Becs, you got even skinnier."

Beca rolled her eyes to no one in particular.

"We’re going to lunch by the way." Amy continued, after getting no reaction to her rooting through Beca’s panties.

"Um, I don’t want... I’m not hungry and I’ve got-"

 

"-Yeah, I’m not listening so get dressed and I’ll be waiting outside. You’ve got twenty minutes to get ready or I’ll call Aubrey."

 

"Jesus Amy!" Beca exclaimed, half smiling. "Anything but the Posenator."

"Well then."

 

"OK." Beca sighed, knowing she was not going to win the argument. Amy had played the trump card and she didn’t want to involve Aubrey in any of her current thoughts. "Twenty minutes."

 

..**..

"... you kissed the redhead?" Amy asked, setting down her cream cheese bagel.

"You've got a little..." Beca started, looking over at the mess Amy was making. She indicated that there was a blob of cream cheese on Amy's chin but Amy clearly wasn't bothered.

"Don't change the subject." Amy said.

"I didn't kiss her first." Beca explained.

"But you didn't stop her?"

"No." Beca sighed heavily, poking at the double chocolate muffin that sat untouched on her plate. The two girls had come to a small cafe to talk. It hadn't taken long for Beca to open up to Amy and once the floodgates had opened, she found herself telling her friend everything.

"I have a question." Amy said, taking a large bite out of her bagel. "Mphy hmpf womph heffe weveph askoph feef?"

"Um, what?" Beca said, looking somewhere between bemused and startled.

Amy swallowed hard. "I said, did you and Jesse break up first?"

"No. After." Beca said quietly. "Amy, what am I going to do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"Oh but Beca... you do."

Beca sat back on her chair and dropped her head to her chest. She'd always love Jesse, she knew she would; he'd opened her heart to the possibility of love but at the same time, while she loved him, she wasn't in love with him. He was comfortable, safe and reliable. Chloe was fresh, alive, perky, slightly odd but different.

"I've never thought about girls in that way before." Beca said, after a couple of minutes. "I don't want to."

"Why?"

"I've always struggled to find my place in society as it is. I just wanted to be normal and fit in. I don't want to give people a reason-"

"-Who cares what people think?"

"Huh?"

"You are going on about you wanting to be normal and fit in but so what if you are straight, gay or bi? Who actually cares? You wouldn’t judge anyone so why are you expecting others to judge you? Isn’t that a bit unfair? Your friends won't give a crap and if they do, they aren't your real friends. Stop over analyzing everything and just enjoy the new experience. If you want to see where things go with Chloe, then try it out. If it doesn't work out, but you have a bit of fun and experience a new side of yourself and no one gets hurt, then what does it really matter. Both of you are adults, you ain't cheating on Jesse so I say go for it."

"Amy, I'm impressed."

"Why?"

"You managed to say something quite sensible and not spray me with bits of bagel while you did it."

"You are quite welcome. But I want the gory details. All the smoochies and if Chloe’s carpet matches the drapes."

“Annnd...” Beca said, drum rolling on the table for effect. “... we’re back to being Amy again.”

The girls talked for another hour before Beca headed home, feeling much better than she had done in weeks. She still felt guilty over losing her relationship with Jesse and wanted to talk to him but also wanted to wait until she had things sorted with Chloe. Amy had explained that Chloe was interested in Beca but, aside from the kiss, she wasn't going to act on her feelings. She was waiting to find out what Beca needed her to do.

The more Beca thought it, thinking with her heart rather than her head, she wanted Chloe. Or at least the opportunity to try something with someone she never thought possible until now. The feeling excited her. The thought made her tingle. She wondered what being with Chloe would be like, spending time together, being more than just friends. Whether it was just lust, or the start of something new, she did need to try, even to justify her curiosity.

Beca appreciated Chloe giving her the time to think, rather than harassing her. She'd had to work out things for herself and was still quite surprised that it was Amy who had made her see the light. It wasn't anyone else's business to work through it for them.

Now she just had to see if Chloe was still interested, and if it was a real feeling that they both had. She hoped Chloe would give them both a chance.

..**..

Chloe was writing out a birthday card to her Grandma when she received a message from Beca. Chloe smiled as she read the short message from her friend. Always blunt and to the point.

Beca - ‘You there?’  
Chloe - ‘I’m here B. Been thinking about you. XOXO’  
Beca - ‘Yeah. Me too.’  
Chloe - ‘Have you? I thought, after Copenhagen and then the silence... XOXO’  
Beca - ‘Working things out.’  
Chloe - ‘And how’s that going? XOXO’  
Beca - ‘I think we need to talk.  
Chloe - ‘Oh. That doesn’t sound like a fun chat. XOXO’  
Beca - ‘I dunno.’  
Chloe - ‘Dear Beca. So much talent, so little words. XOXO’  
Beca - ‘Yeah well.’  
Chloe - ‘You mentioned needing to talk. I’m listening. XOXO’  
Beca - ‘Come by my place tomorrow around 4.’  
Chloe - ‘Oh shoot, I can’t. I’m visiting my Grandma for her birthday. XOXO’  
Beca - ‘OK, don’t worry.  
Chloe - ‘I’m free now. You want me to call? XOXO’  
Beca - ‘OK.’

Chloe finished signing her name on the card with a flourish and more kisses than necessary before she called Beca. She tucked the phone under her chin and she slotted the card into the envelope as she waited for Beca to pick up. The phone rang for a few moments before Beca finally picked it up.

"Hey!" Chloe said as soon as she knew the call had connected.

"Why’d you do it?" Beca asked.

"Oh hey Chloe, how are you? I’m fine Beca, thanks for asking. How are you?"

 

"Oh yeah, sorry. I’m just-"

"-It’s fine Becs. I’m just teasing."

"You seem to be good at that."

"I guess so."

"So, why’d you do it?" Beca asked again.

"Do what Beca?" Chloe asked sweetly, knowing full well what Beca was talking about.

"In Copenhagen. Why did you kiss me?"

 

"Beca, my dear, sweet friend. I guess you haven’t noticed me quietly waiting for you to notice me for years, have you?"

"Notice you? Chloe, I’ve had bruised ribs from your hugs, you’ve stepped on my feet more times than I care to remember and you’ve walked into me on more than one occasion. I notice you all the time."

"No Beca, you don’t."

 

"What do you mean then?"

"I’ve known you four years, right? And I think I’ve cared about you for pretty much the same time. I’ve never hidden my feelings for you, I’ve just not made them public knowledge. I know you struggle with what shows, what hides, what goes with what, who knows more than they say and who is overthinking things." Chloe said, quietly gathering up her purse and picking up her keys.

"Yeah, but why did you kiss me?"

"What I did in Copenhagen was wrong. But only because of Jesse."

 

"Yeah, but how did you know I wasn’t going to push you away?"

"I didn’t." Chloe said honestly as she pushed her feet into a pair of sandals. She looked in the mirror briefly before walking towards the front door of her apartment. "I took a chance."

 

"Oh."

 

"Yes, oh. I took a chance that you wouldn’t push me away because I have liked you for a very long time. And if you had given me the biggest shove you could manage with those tiny arms, then I would have had my answer. I might have ruined a beautiful friendship but I took the risk that I was reading the signs right." 

Chloe resisted singing ‘I Saw The Sign’ for the sake of both of their sanities, having heard it played and sung a hundred times while Aubrey was in charge of the Bellas. She left her apartment, locking the front door behind her and began walking with purpose along the small path to the left of her home.

"What sign?" Beca asked innocently.

"Oh hunny, this is one of the reasons I love you so much."

 

"Um, wait. You love me now?"

"As my friend, yes, I do. Very much." Chloe said, giggling a little. Coming from a loving family, she had no problem telling a friend that she loved them.

"Do you go around kissing all of your friends?"

"No!" Chloe laughed out loudly. The laugh seemed to cut through some of the tension. "Could you imagine Amy’s reaction?”

 

“It would save me from getting all her weirdness.”

“I’ve missed you Beca."

"Well, I’m quite a small target." Beca mused and instantly Chloe knew that everything was going to be OK. Even if nothing happened between them both, she knew their friendship would be strong for life. "Anyway, back to the sign I apparently shoved in your face."

"It’s just the little things you do. And don’t pretend you do them for everyone because I know you don’t."

"What? What did I do?"

"You let me be me." Chloe said. "I can be myself around you. You feel like family, as that is what I’m like with the people I’m most comfortable with."

 

"Well duh, who else you gonna be. We can only handle one Amy. So you have to be Chloe."

"This is true!" Chloe laughed again. "Listen... again, I’m not going to apologize for kissing you."

"OK."

"I’m glad I did it."

 

"Me to." Beca said quietly, almost so that Chloe didn’t quite catch what she said. Chloe came upon the building she was heading towards and waited by the front door. As luck would have it, she spied someone coming down the stairs and hoped they’d be distracted and let her in so she didn’t have to buzz her way up.

"Well, what are we going to do about it then?" Chloe asked, nodding her thanks to the guy as he held the door open for her.

Beca sighed. Loudly. "I don’t know. I kinda wish you were here right now because I’m all confused and muddled and my head's all over the place and I’ve got all these feelings going on and it’s just too much to think about and I wasn’t thinking about you in that way and then you kissed me and it’s all I can think about and I haven’t been out of bed in like three weeks and everyone thinks I’m sick and then Jesse and me, well, we aren’t together because I don’t trust my feelings towards him and what I mean by that is I don’t know if I love him because all I can think about is that kiss." Beca almost choked as she got all of her words out in one long sentence.

"And breathe!" Chloe giggled. 

"I know. I know. I just wish you were here so that I’d know how I felt. I’ll kill you if you laugh but I just want you to hold me so I can feel something with my heart, and not my head." Beca said, feeling emotion churn up in her belly. She was distracted by a loud knocking on the door.

"Beca, I-"

"-Wait a sec Chloe. There’s someone at my door. Let me get rid of them OK? God, I wish you were to make this all better."

 

"I’ll wait." Chloe said, smiling as she said it.

"OK. Hang on." Beca said, tripping over her feet as she headed towards the front door. She pulled on it, half expecting Amy to be standing there, probably returning a few pairs of Beca’s panties that she’d stolen earlier and instead, took a half step back when she saw her visitor. Beca closed her eyes for the briefest of seconds as she committed the dazzling smile in front of her to memory. She was not expecting Chloe to be standing at her front door, but wanted her there so very much. She didn’t know what to say. But Chloe did.

"Hi."


End file.
